Daddy, Iz a Ziontist...

This could be the winning paragraph (it may not be...check back!):

The chamber is kept at around 10-5 torr. This is done through a series of pumps. The first pump is called a roughing pump (Alcatel 2063). The roughing pump is general pump which is used at all times to keep the chamber at low pressure. The next pump in series is called the roots blower (BOC Edwards EH500). This pump is a positive displacement pump which utilizes a pair of meshing lobes in order to pull air out of the system. The roots blower is connected to the chamber through a foreline. The foreline is a series of PVC pipe which connect to the diffusion pumps (Varian VHS 10). These pumps use high heat to boil oil, the vapor of which causes a jet of vapor which pulls air down the pump and out the exhaust. The diffusion pump closest to the sample is covered by a water baffle (Varian F8600310). The water baffle is used to keep the oil from boiling up into the chamber. Once the chamber is at a low enough temperature there are two different microwave setups which may be used in order to take data.

Unedited.

I'm sure that for most of you, you look at this as a grammar nightmare. For me, it's a scientific nightmare that you can't believe. But the grammar, too, also.